When your thoughts spiral…

My close friends know this but many may not be aware about the thing I struggle with a lot and that’s an insecurity about myself.

I can feel like I’m not a great friend or that I’m not good enough for a lot of people. I’m not personable or I’m just too much. I’ve made myself believe a lot of lies. I’ve taken those thoughts and ran with them many many times. More than I like to admit.

Do you have an insecurity that you battle with? Or any type of thought(s)? I can 100% see how people get defeated by those. I can see when you don’t have Jesus as the center of your life how much those thoughts can ruin you. Because they just keep spiraling until your in this dark place.

I can see it because honestly … Ive let my own thoughts get too far myself and I know who my God is. I know what Jesus thinks of me. I know I am a daughter of the most high God (thanks to one of my best friends for always reminding us of that). I know He created me, thinking of every single detail. I know He loves me more than anyone on Earth could. But I still would let the lies overpower all the truths I knew.

So back to you. Are you struggling? Are your thoughts taking you to a place you don’t want to be? If so, let me be a light for you. Let me remind you that YOU are a daughter or son of our Heavenly Father. That Jesus went on the cross for you. Yep, you, specifically. Not just generally speaking. He was nailed on that cross, thinking of YOU! Seems impossible, right?

How could He really be thinking about me, Deana? Because He’s Jesus, that’s why. He’s omni everything (I can’t remember all the terms honestly lol) but God is all knowing, all powerful, He has NO limitations.

So when you feel engulfed by a thought(s) about yourself. When you have yourself convinced that no one really likes you or your friends don’t really like hanging out with you as much as they do with their other friends, take those thoughts to God. Lay them at Jesus’ feet. Remind yourself that Jesus didn’t die on that cross for me to sulk in these lies that are straight from the enemy.

Yep we have an enemy. One who doesn’t want to see us confident and know who our Lord and Savior is. One who doesn’t want us to see ourselves the way God does because when we do see ourselves as beautiful (not just physically but emotionally and especially spiritually) as our Father does, we can conquer the world! We can achieve the things God has called us to because we have confidence in HIM!

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” We are doing Jesus a disservice when we let the lies take over our lives.

So I challenge you, today, to look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself the way that Jesus sees you. Forget what you think others think. Heck, forget what others may think of you (easier said than done but we’re called to care about what Jesus thinks of us, not people) And if you don’t know how truly loved and delicately created you were by our Father in Heaven, check out psalm 139. It’ll change your outlook on everything especially yourself, I pray that it does anyway.

Knowing Jesus and the battle He has won for us will change your thoughts too. And when you get caught in those lies (because like i said the enemy tries to get a hold of us but with Jesus that just isn’t possible), the Holy Spirit in you will quickly detect that it is indeed a lie and He will redirect you to the truth of who you are and whose you are. It’s a journey for sure and it’s one I’ve been on for a while but I know I can’t lose and be defeated with Jesus by my side.

Xoxo

Deana

I’m thankful God has been working on me to be secure in Him now and not years later. Not just for me but for my babies sake… so I can start praying over them now
My prayer is that they are confident in who and whose they are in Christ ❤️
That they never waiver due to others or their own thoughts because they don’t need to find security in anyone or anything else but Jesus❤️ and they see themselves the way that He (and their mama) does!

When workouts last a lifetime.

Today I started my workout during my boys nap times. I hadn’t even finished my 10 minute warmup before my youngest woke up. No big deal. He can come down with me and hang out with his big sis. After all, he loves going down when his dad is lifting.

So here we go. Back to my workout. 5 more minutes in and my baby is whining, crawling over to me as I’m running on the treadmill. I have to stop it because he is now crawling on to it. Yep, there are his little hands under the track part of the treadmill, hopefully he doesn’t hurt them. Remember how I said he’s an angel when his dad works out?

Anyway. Got the treadmill stopped. Hands are good. He’s now happy because he’s in mamas arms. I get some more toys and have him occupied with those so I lift a few sets and head back over to the treadmill. He immediately crawls over to me.

Ok need a new idea. I get his walker from outside and bring it down and put him in there and blare nursery rhyme songs, ya know like pink fong and cocomelon? If you’re a parent, you know. Finally I am able to get the rest of my workout in!!! A 40 minute workout turned in to an hour and a half.

I could’ve easily gotten frustrated. I almost did. But then God reminded me “this is a short season” and man did it stop me in my tracks and make me think. Even made me slightly emotional thinking how short of a season this truly is. My oldest is already 4.5. My 10 month old will be that age what will feel like, tomorrow.

So instead of getting mad when I’m trying to do my own thing, I decided to pick up my baby. To play with him in between my workout. To get him to laugh and giggle when I really just wanted to get my 20 minute run in.

I’m not perfect at this. I get carried away with things around my house that I have to do. But today, God gave me that fresh perspective I needed. I’m sure I’ve written a blog post about this before because this isn’t the first time God has reminded me of this. He knows He has to remind me time and time again haha.

This is for all the mamas who just want to get stuff done but your baby isn’t allowing you to. You’ll get it done, it’ll always be there to do. Hug that baby and then get back to work.

Xoxo

9 months of Heaven

You see these pictures? They’re of my NINE month old. My baby is nine months old, how is that even possible??? I know every mom in the world says it but they’re not kidding when they say time goes by faster with each kid you have.

9 months of pure HEAVEN with this guy. I’m not sure what it is but since having this boy of mine, God has softened me. I’ve always been an emotional being. But I am just pure mush with him.

Bryce Matthew has been my saving Grace in many ways but he has also been the one who has given me a sense of complete and wholeness. I have never felt more comfortable in my roll as a mom since having him. Again, I don’t know what it is but 9 months ago, my life as a mom changed forever.

Not just because I have 3 kids now instead of 2. Well obviously because of that but the not so obvious ways, too. When Bryce was born and we brought him home, my heart has never felt more at peace. A week in to having him, I remember swinging outside with him laying next to me while his two older siblings played and I just thought “this transition from 2-3 kids is my favorite, he makes it easy.”

As the days went on and the weeks flew by, we are somehow 9 months in to having 3 kids run around the house and I can’t even begin to explain how much it has blessed me. God knew I needed Bryce for many reasons. He knew in my year of insecurity, He’d bless me with a baby who gave me confidence in who He called me to be : a mom.

I could cry (shocking) knowing how much my Father knew me to bless me with a baby at the most perfect time. Not just a baby, but Bryce Matthew. My baby who really is perfectly content, my baby who loves on most but really wants his mama when she’s around, my baby who I call my “gentle giant” because I know God created him JUST like his daddy… gentle at heart but a big boy and an intense attitude when he’s worked up lol

God sends us certain blessings in certain seasons. He knows what we are going through when we’re in the thick of it. Pay attention, sometimes we can miss it in the heat of it all. But when our eyes are peeled and our perspective is toward God, He shows us what we need at the perfect moment. And in one of the most grueling seasons of my life, God gave me Bryce Matthew. My gentle giant💙

Xoxo

Mommy care packages, a Mother’s Day gift

The other night I was laying in bed and out of no where a thought popped in to my mind :

What if I made care packages for people to buy for their moms, aunts, sisters, sisters in law, grandma, or maybe just for themselves on Mother’s Day. Something that would make them feel loved and seen and appreciated.

I shared the idea with my husband that same night and he encouraged me to do it. Soon after that I went to bed only to wake up the next morning with it still on my mind. I took that as confirmation that God laid this idea on my heart.

But… just to be sure, I text my closest friends and asked them what they thought of the idea. I told them I felt like maybe God was up to something but wanted to make sure it was Him I was being guided by and not my flesh. They all confirmed with putting in multiple (9 to be exact) orders lol. God is good and so are my friends!

So here’s the deal I have going on. I plan to make 30 total mommy care packages. These cute little brown boxes with a clear window on the front wrapped with twine and a small brown tag attached will be filled with lots of the most purest, nontoxic self care goodies (because that’s important to me). These will be carefully placed on crinkle cut paper inside the box!

  • Sample size container of satin mint facial scrub
  • Give me energy essential oil roller bottle
  • Calm mama down essential oil roller bottle
  • Car // Room spray (whichever you prefer it to be)
  • Glass tube of essential oil infused bath salts
  • Homemade after shave infused with essential oils

Everything listed above is included in the care package and each item is homemade, made with organic ingredients. Only the best of the best! The satin mint face scrub is the one thing I didn’t make myself but it is a clean face scrub that will leave your skin feeling cool and soothing and fresh after using it without worrying about toxins or chemicals seeping in to your skin!

I plan to sell these for $25. Spread the word, tell your friends! Share this blog post! I honestly just pray these care packages reach those who truly need them. Not necessarily the products but the thought and love behind them. I know as a mom, we can go day in and day out without much appreciation shown to us so here is a way to show a mom how appreciated and loved she truly is.

Here are all the ways you can order:

  • Facebook messenger
  • Email through my blog
  • Text if you already have my number

I’m still not checking Facebook or Instagram regularly so be sure to get a hold of me 1 of these 3 ways! Can’t wait to get these in some mama’s hands! 💗

God bless! Xoxo

Is thankful enough

It’s a long time coming but here I am back on my blog. I’ve been off social media but I miss sharing pictures of my family and shedding some light through God’s Word.

So here we go. It starts with some pictures of my family from Easter and it ended with some thoughts that I wrote down below. I pray and believe it will speak to one person.

Today I am thankful. But that word doesn’t seem like it’s enough.

Thankful for my crew and that God gave me each one of them to help guide and teach and correct but most importantly; to love.

I’m thankful for a Man who was so selfless that He CHOSE to die on a cross for me. And you.

That sacrifice gave us LIFE. Thankful doesn’t seem like a powerful enough word for what Jesus did that day.

But it’s the word I believe God gave me so I’m gonna go with : it is powerful enough because He knows exactly how I feel even when it seems like I don’t have the “right” words for it.

#HeIsRisen #ThankfulSundayCame

Probably my favorite picture of the day because it captures the Bache family pretty perfectly lol

So here’s the deal. God wired me to be a very very emotional human when He created me. I have really high, highs and reaaaally low lows. There is nooo in between for me. Yikes, my poor husband… and fam… and friends 😂. With that, I’m sensitive to everyone around me, though, so I notice how they feel in a situation. I empathize with others really well.

And although, God DID create me with these characteristics, of course, Satan has to try and twist it so that I’m not using the things God has given me to glorify Him and His kingdom. But instead to destroy myself and others around me.

So a way that I can get in trouble with my emotional self is reacting immediately off my feelings instead of resting in the moment, taking it to the Lord discussing it with people I trust and THEN going from there. No no, I hear something, feel the feels (remember high highs or low lows) and boom, I’m making a move based off that feeling. You can only imagine how that goes at times lol.

This takes me to a few days back when I started seeing instagrams new terms and policies when using their app. Everyone was posting how scary Instagram was becoming with tracking our locations, retrieving information, knowing if we’d wear a mask with face recognition through our camera, having access to everything not only on our entire phone but even on other people’s phones around us sharing our wifi etc etc

My mind immediately goes to all the negative thoughts about the world and what our society is allowing and the corruption of it all. I, then, get defensive of my babies and want to protect them and jump to the thought of getting a flip phone (I’m an extremist in every way possible lol) and do away with it all. But then. Isn’t there always a “but”?

After some more time of reading about, processing, praying and talking with others, I had chilled out a bit. Although I believe social media isnt being used for much good, I do believe it is so vital during this time we are living in for people who believe in Jesus to stay on and shed His light and love to others who may not know Him. To share the hope He promises. To share the encouragement He offers. To share the truths He proclaims.

I guess I’m saying all this to share a few things.

1.it’s ok to be emotional (Jesus is emotional, He celebrates with us, weeps with us He experiences all of our emotions) we just can’t react based off our emotions ***thanks to an awesome lady for sharing these truths with me, you know who you are❤️

2.shine your Light when God calls you to!

3.read God’s word and pray before immediately reacting. You can never go wrong when running to those two for help

Xoxo

Deana

That is who you are

Waymaker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness; that is who You are.

Second blog post in a row with the same lyrics but slightly (not much really though😂) different message…

I have some close loved ones who are currently going through some trials, man. Trials that I wouldn’t want anyone to have to face. And although I believe that God is working miracles in those trials, I know the angst they’re feeling. It’s what we all feel in the unknown.

But do you know what I’m learning through their situations as I pray for them? A few things…

1.Never ever ever doubt our God. He is capable to do the IMPOSSIBLE. I’m watching it happen.

2.He IS the light in our darkness. He is our only hope when we are going through hell. There’s no other person or thing that we can look to that will fulfill us like He does. When we look to Him, we can find supernatural peace in a situation where no human flesh could be at peace with.

3.TRUST in the Lord with all your heart (Proverbs 3:5-6). Because I see my family and friends looking to Him and BELIEVING in Him even though it’s hard to see with their own eyes, they are trusting their situations are in Jesus’ hand and believe He will take care of them.

My best friend always says, “you are the daughter (or son) of the most High God.” Well, so are you, whoever is reading this. He is working in your life even if you can’t see it because YOU are his son or daughter.

Remember those lyrics at the top of this blog. People need to hear this. My big ole dreaming heart prays this simple message reaches thousands. I’m not even on social media right now but I believe God will lay this in those laps that need it most. I pray this reaches every single person that’s going through a trial and needs this reminder: that God is faithful. That He works miracles. That He is our light in our darkest days!

That is who You are, Jesus. Thank you for being who You are.

Xoxo

Deana

You never stop working

Waymaker, miracle worker

Promise keeper, light in the darkness

My God, that is who You are

Even when I don’t see it, You’re working

Even when I don’t feel it, You’re working

You never stop, You never stop working

You never stop, You never stop working

I’m not good at speaking in person. You know how you just know what your flaws are and then what you’re really good at? Well, I’ve recognized that one of my flaws is talking out loud, expressing my heart and thoughts. I get nervous and start mumbling things that don’t make sense. I can’t keep my thoughts straight. It’s like everything is clashing all together at once in my head and I don’t know where to start and end my thoughts on when trying to express them.

Although I’m not great at writing, I can express myself way better through words on paper/typed out. I’m able to think it through and put those thoughts out there to organize and think on. I don’t know, it’s just how my brain works 😝

With all the being said, here is something that’s been on my heart since I’ve been obsessing over this song for some time now and my Wednesday night bible study I attend just confirmed how I’d been feeling and thinking last night. Of course I didn’t speak up because 1.thoughts are everywhere like I had mentioned and 2.I usually burst in to tears when I talk about the goodness of our savior.

This song forever reminds me of God’s goodness + kindness + faithfulness towards His sons and daughters. God is always working. Never failing. Even when we don’t see it or feel like anything is happening – God is moving behind the scenes. Always! Like those lyrics, He never stops working.

I can attest to this with my own life. A season of dryness in our marriage. A season of stress + anxiety. More than we had ever experienced and felt since being together. In the middle of that season, we both knew in our hearts it was growing us. I, thankfully, have amazing people in my life to remind me at times when I forgot that too. Even though it was one of our hardest seasons we’ve walked thus far in marriage, we came out of it with much more gratitude to our Lord who brought us through it stronger as husband and wife. We continue to learn every day but hopefully our experience gives you hope in your tough season.

Whatever that is, God is working. He is moving. Even when you feel nothing. See nothing. He is building our character + endurance + strength (Romans 5:3-4). We will and do come out of trials better and stronger sons and daughters of Christ.

If anything, in those seasons, blare this song so loud. Sing it with your hands raised up, tears flowing down your cheeks, surrendering. In that moment, you will feel better by just letting Jesus carry the burden of whatever it is you’re carrying. I’m not consistent at this but in those moments, when I do this, I physically feel the weight lifted from my shoulders. I’m reminded that good will come out of that season. Now that we are out of it, I’m reminded of how gracious and kind and generous and faithful my God is and continues to be in our lives.

Exhausted, drained and growing

“‘Exhausted like I had never been before, I could not compose any verbose or eloquent prayers. I simply needed daily bread: ‘Father, I have no idea what I’m doing. Give me whatever it is that I need to do what you’ve given me to do.'”

This is an excerpt from a book I’m reading, Missional Motherhood. When I read those few lines, tears started welling up in my eyes.

See, I had a rough month. My kids weren’t sleeping (which I wasn’t used to), my husband started a new (intense + stressful) job while I was trying to maintain a sound mind and also juggling responsibilities of my own outside of being a mom + wife. Yikes.”

The first three paragraphs you just read, those were written about four months ago and it’s been sitting under the drafts tab on my blog. God had a plan. God always has a plan though, doesn’t he?

My life has literally been a whirlwind since I wrote all that. Like, things got way more hectic and I hit more “lows” since then. Some really low lows. Funny how that works. I thought it was bad then but God had more challenges for me to face between then and now. And He’s not done. Is he ever done? (Asking as this exhausted mama sighs…)

He’s never done with us. But the more challenges we face, the more grateful we should be to God. Wait, what? You’re clearly sleep deprived, Deana. No…well yes, maybe a little, but I meant what I wrote. As we face more and more challenges, we should show God more and more gratitude. Why? Because that means two things (that I can think of as I sit here at 11:00 at night hoping my baby doesn’t wake up so i can finish this blog and go to bed):

1.God trusts and knows that we can get through whatever we’ve been faced with. But how can I get through this?? When we are in that dark tunnel, how can we see that there’s a light at the end of it? Because Jesus. Jesus is our way out of a n y t h i n g we are faced with. In a job you hate? Talk to Jesus about it. Sleep deprived mama of littles who feels like they can’t get through the rest of the day? Have a conversation with Jesus. Just experienced an incredibly hard loss? Go to Jesus + cry out to Him. He will get you through it. We complicate this and unfortunately, is hard for us to do at times. It makes me sad to think about all the opportunities I’ve had to run straight to Jesus feet when I’ve felt desperate and overwhelmed but chose to turn the other way. Don’t do that. God created us – we literally don’t have anyone else who shares our DNA. That was God’s intention when he so carefully created us. He made us for a specific purpose. That’s how much He cares and loves me and y o u! So why wouldn’t we drop down at his feet in our most desperate moments?? Sorry bunny trail there kind of. God entrusts us with the challenges we’re faced with. So be grateful he chose you because he knows you’ll make it out of that tunnel!!

2.We’ve been given these challenges to g r o w in our spiritual walk + our character. James 1:2-4 tells us this. “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” Let your faith grow in times of difficulty. Easier said than done, trust me. I’ve had moments of wanting to completely give up. I felt like a failure as a mom + wife. I yelled at my toddler too much, I wasn’t patient with my husband when he got home from work. I was questioning decisions I had made based what I believe God was telling me but was it really from God? All these things tormented me and I wasn’t (still a work in progress) letting all these things grow my faith. We aren’t going to be perfect so first we *I* have to accept that. Again, there would be no point to Jesus sacrificing His life if we were perfect. But during these times, I can lean on God and God alone. Finally, when I threw my hands up and surrendered everything to Him, I felt f r e e d o m. Freedom from having to be perfect, freedom from opinions, freedom to just look to Jesus when I’m desperately needing my cup filled up. Literally picture all the worries and burdens you carry stacked on your shoulders and you physically hand those over to God. Feel the relief already? That’s simply all it takes. For us to realize we don’t have the reigns, but God does. Don’t try to steer all the time. God has all that down already. He’s had a hold of those reigns since before you were in the womb. Trust Him and let be. So be grateful that these trials are growing you as the person God created you to be.

I’m in the middle of lots of challenges. This season is h a r d. I can’t say I’m grateful in the middle of it but when I really sit down at night + think about the God I serve, I can’t help but have a full heart and know He is doing something in the midst of the mess.

Seriously can I take my own advice? My days would be a lot less stressful and a lot more joyful…

Praying my late night thoughts touched one of you tonight♥️

Xoxo

Deana